^_^

glad that Gui Ma is feeling a bit better le..hmm.....hopes she gets better day by day~~~(=


i want to travel around the world~!
i want to buy a proper phone..


finally the amount of dust in the house is lesser le.. (= *glad* hahahhahha......kind of tidier?haha...


========chEckMatE========

ranDom

just what's the meaning of love? how do you express it to ur family members?

爱要怎么说出口。。。但说了又怎样？那会是真心的吗？

truths hurts..but it simply set a clear boundary of what you are thinking...

so to who you can speak the truth..and to who you have to lie?

why do you see things in this view when you shouldn't have...does it have to do with your character?

again..actions speaks louder than words....


~needs and wants~


========cheCkmAte========

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

*prays for kui ma*

=she would be fine= *i believe*


========cheCkmaTe========

finally the fact is out..haha..

yes~i wasn't sleeping yet~haha...as usual...

just gotten my 1st year sem 1 result...haha...asking myself...was it better than expected?perhaps a bit...hmm...3.5 would be good if it's for poly result..haha..anyway..was glad that i passed everything (= the results simply appear out of a sudden such that i did not have time to prepare..lol...cos' was like waiting for the page to finish loading..haha..

alright~achievement today would be ------> spring cleaning finally started~! LOL...

~it isn't just the feeling?~


========chEckmAte========

happy moments shall be remembered (=

~25th Dec 2008~

o yes~slept late on christmas eve...(= and woke up early on christmas day (= so in general slept only 2 hours plus...haha~!actually nothing much happened this day~went to a church christmas celebration at Paya Lebar....haha...to support my friend...hmm...then set off to have lunch with them at subway~
visited my gui ma too....hope she will be fine soon (=
then then then......went to JP2 to shop with my sis and her bf...hahah~!!!
went home never sleep early too....slept at around 2 plus 3 also...o man....surprise that i can tahan so long.....hahahhaha....................................... (=

~26th Dec 2008~

hmmmm.....went out with Fu gege, Van, and WW today the whole day~hahahha....really happy happy this day~ (=we went to places where i never go before~!wheE~! (= southern ridges.......sungei buloh nature reserve....kranji reservoir..lunch at imm....dinner at Vivo~~~whooooooo~~~~~~~~haha.....the feeling of having a car is simply great yea? (= can go anywhere (= *forgot to bring them their present =SSS* haha........

~27th Dec 2008~

wanted to go play badminton with VH people today~but couldn't make it cos have got job trial as a telemarketer....haha~!initially also got poly class outing...in the end only 7 going...haha~!so me and shereen decided to cancelled it....LOL..............anyway...went to the job trial with Celina...Van's sis...hahaha......then called Fu gege and Van out as well....went to hav dinner and watched Bedtime stories.....it's not nice....cos simply makes me feel like sleeping..haha....no climax at all seis........hahhaha..... (= *again..forgot to bring their presents =S*

~28th Dec 2008~

shall stay home and do spring cleaning (=


saving should start (= *financial planning?*


========chEckMatE========

========chEckmAte========

my aim now~

is to~

sleep earlier at night..

be emotionless..

goals..


========chEckmAte========

x'mas eve..08..

went to visit gui ma just now...she's not any better than the 1st time i went to visit her..which is last sun...i think 21st Dec....hmm...her part of her head with the skull removed had sunk in..she's deprived of water..cos nothing is to be fed by mouth...she's 84 and yet have to suffer.. =(

after that went to ECP for bbq with Ameron friends..haha...only 10 people turn up...raining some more..................what a day man..ahahha....and we wasted so much so much food~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!omg.............and everything is quite expensive too...i think it's the 1st time Selena is ordering the food? (= hmmm.....

(=

spoken to Louie Bro just now..hmm...he said..we have to be independent physically and psychologically...haha....be emotionless....haha....i thought i had those...but in fact....i haven't attain that level yet...haha....

just what am i doing? =S
*reflection*


========chEckMatE========

~thinking back~

thinking back...

i'm not quite of an initiator..

not quite outspoken..

introvert..

i want people to tell me what to do..but at the same time i do not want..yes..it's contradicting..but all are in different situation...

~quiet~
that's just me..

时间是自己找出来的。。



========cHeCkmAte========

就算这次做错也只是怕错过

o man...just what is the power of money?

really couldn't leave without it....there was once when i would refuse to go out just because i don't wish to spend...but at the same time...couldn't save much as well...during my primary school days...i joined quite a few japalang CCA..ok la...enjoyed a bit..hmmm...then in secondary school days..i was afraid that CCA might affect my studies..so i joined a slack CCA..LOL...librarian....hahas..a bit of regrets actually...in poly days..i joined NYP Pal and student Union just because i wanted to help out in campus concert..haha...wasn't really much into CCA as well..cos' i prefer to work than to do things which cause me to lose money...

every thing done was out to make sure that i had enough to spend..and never had savings till I worked in Ameron..it's a bit like a disgrace when you had been spending on leisure using the money you earned all these while and yet have to get from parents suddenly..leisure spending should never be a burden on parents..much less to say..the more i shouldn't do that when my mother is earning so little and father not working~~~~with us all in tertiary education some more...

despite saying all these..i met with financial crisis now..i had never met that since i was in poly for somehow..i always had at least a small amount coming in just when i needed it...for the whole semester..i am jobless..now...working in a tuition centre as a front counter personal...working every sunday only..i guess no more telemarketer job...now spending into my school fees savings...hope i get my pay soon..

with the crisis in mind...i seriously do not want it to be stopping me from doing a lot of things...this december holidays..i go out like nobody's business..spending just because i want to go out for gatherings and stuff...if i hadn't done that..i could have a bit more to spend when school term starts...but one thing in mind since i entered uni is..i do not want my life to just be study and go home and work..leisure should come in place as much too..it sounds like i don't really know what is the right thing i need to do...but seriously..i want to live with colours...and yes..it's colours....doing as much things as possible.....

i really didn't want my life to be controled by financial problem...

who is understanding what i'm thinking?and not hurting me?perhaps i may be wrong to a certain extent in which i have not realised..but..afterall..we only live once..

studying doesn't seems to be my priority now..is that a right thinking?i'm not too sure either..this is life..

就算这次做错也只是怕错过。。

========cHecKmaTe========

boWling and X'maS exchange (=

today was out the whole day...

went to bowling at bukit batok with the WSC members..haha..alright..i wasn't a great bowler..in fact..i wasn't good at anything..hmm...that's a very pessimistic thinking..but..what can i do?hmm...it seems to be really the case....i'm just like a rubbish...even if it's thrown away...it's not going to be a pity...

anyway...unlike Ameron's colleagues...WSC people are not really pro at bowling either..LOL....lane 1 and lane 2 all scored below 80 for each game la~!hahahah...and due to the fact that some people didn't come...we helped to play their turns...half way through..Bryan came...and asked.."who played until straight zero for the 2 turns?" LOL...and it's me~!hahah..*ops* and surprisingly...hmmmmm....those 'practice' turns score is higher than each and everyone of our own turns...LOL............what is this...haha...really had fun....haha...cos we aren't serious at all~!hahah...anyhow anyhow play...

our lane mates~
Andy, Eugene, Joycelene low profile..bryan damn funny...Mei Sian is so pretty..haha..like a china actress...and one thing is~~~~Tenglee and Qiao Ru washed the drain at the same time and same direction when it's their turn~!LOL......and they still so happy...hahah....ok~we'r jus a bit high..hahahh...

after that we went to play arcade at suntec..haha...a bit lame...but we'r just tring to kill off time since we are waiting for dinner time to arrive..hahah...played Daytona and basketball...haha...lang ga 3 times for daytona...LOL...and ultimately i'm 1st~!hahah...*whEe* lols.......basketball..hmm..alright...149 only~~~LOL.........

and yes~~it's celebration for Jiren~!hahahhaha....a coffee tiramisu cake bought at Bakerin...haha..k la..not bad..hmm...cool ehs...

and finally...dinner is here~!yeppies~!haha..went to Breeks.....my sphagetti is so oily...omg...make me dun dare to eat again...=S feel like puking......=( haha...ops...
the main part is gift exchange...haha~! (= played 中级密码。。haha.....and i got an eye masager...haha..still ok la...LOL...from Hui Ting...hmmm.... (= Angel got a Sudo Gold and she's not very happy with the ending..haha...k la...if me i also will feel like that..hmm (=

*tommorrow going to go for Ameron's Christmas BBQ..hmm...wondering if i will stay?hahhaha......cos like no one interested to stay leh except Weng Wei..Missy maybe..hmmm...**

see your reaction..i suppose it's gone...hmmm...i am seriously wondering =(


========cHeCkmAtE========

2nd person in Ameron who angered me~!

o man...Mr Tak Sin~!!!!!u r indeed the 2nd person who angered me in Ameron~!no..i should say is the 2nd person in costing department....~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!cos the 2nd person in Ameron is MR Colin~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i still call him Mr very good liao lo.....wth..............y r all costing department people like that~!Alexander wasn't like that~!

wth....

ROAR~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


========chEckmAte========

~summaRy~

~13th Dec 2008~

finally beach hunt is over.. (= and it's a success (= *glad*glad* haha....great job ppl~! (=

~15th - 18th Dec 2008~

went to Genting with my relatives (= it was cool man...hhaha...initially i thought like go 4 days then was like thinking what to do there?hahas....but after that found that got not enough time to play and shop..haha...didn't know that shopping doesn't makes me tired..lols...we can shop even with black out.....hahahahaa...omg.....it's like hotel n shopping centre n theme park are just so near....hahaha....(=

played cyclone, corkscrew, flying coaster, pirate ship (screaming competition..LOL..), spinner, and pirate train (i think..haha...ghost train..not scary at all~!omg...haha) there's only one sentence to say~the feeling of falling is just scary~!omg......scream scream scream~~~~~~ (= then only sad thing is.........couldn't play all games....hahahah.....

*simply love the cloud*LOL..............

~20th Dec 2008~

went to forest adventure at bedok...hahah....didn't know that i'm afraid of heights....until 20th Dec..LOL............omg....what keeps me going is to have confidence in the woods....hahahhaha...(=

after that went to visit my Kui Ma....she fell and hurt her head...she's 84 and yet have to go for operation on her head =S quite a big scar sia...that day i wet she's like less confused....now she's like in a confused state of mind =( touching her hand....suddenly feel like crying...ever since like don't know when i think i had become cold blooded....hmm...visit her only for a very short while...then went to eat le....

at night went for sec school gathering...haha....was happy (= went to pitstop cafe.....hahas...it's something like minds cafe...hahas...but i like the atmosphere more at PT cafe (= wherever i go..saboteur is a game to be played for sure...LOL...........then we set off to Andrea's hostel.....hahahah..............cool sehs (=enjoyed the night...haha........ *gift exchange* got Angel's gift..hahaha....

tomorrow WSC bowling....and VH outing..hahaha....hmmm...


========cHecKmaTe========

pRi sch mAteS gaTherIng

i'm so glad that all are present for the 12th Dec gathering (= namely...shu sian..emeline..chu sin..evelyn..haha...had enjoyed the conversation with them (= lols..........we catch up with each other..then somehow......emeline's bf also catching up with evelyn..LOL....

anyway..this is the 1st time chu sin came for our meeting..haha...and those memories she shared with us is so funny la...LOL....all the little things which we cannot even recall....hahahah....

we met for a few hours...chat....dine at pepper lunch....and off to home sweet home.....this is the day when the tv is showing the last episode of 'foreignsic heros'....LOL.....


========cHecKmaTe========

back to you

hey hey bloggie...had been too lazy to blog..haha...but somehow..i'm afraid that i might forget all my wonderful memories which i wanted to keep but accidentally deleted from my brain...LOL..

Youth just started on the 11th Dec which is the second session...somehow..i just find that we are really not very bonded..=( not like the VH people....who are really much much more bonded (= 18th DEc is the 3rd session...but i couldn't make it cos' i was just back from genting..haha...anyway...during the 1 hour i had always enjoyed (=wondering if there will be a session on the 25th Dec since it's christmas day~!whee~! (=it has always been a day which i will look forward to (= *smiles*

12th Dec is my registration day (= got the time slot which we planned. for a moment...i stunt at the pg which shows all the modules to be registered..haha...then i click confirm...LOL...lucky despite my retarded action...i'm still able to get the slots i wanted..hahahha....i'm not too sure why somehow i'm always a bit slow...but...it's just like that..can i be saved then?i wonder...didn't want to be like this too...but can 'can't help it' be the words of excuse?sometimes i'm really wondering if i'm usingg my brain or not..=S sometimes..somehow i know the answer..but i chose to ask..i'm not too sure what i'm doing also..how?i don't really understand myself...how can i try to love myself more when i don't really like myself sometimes? *humph*

-improvements?!-------->to my understanding..(had been going out almost everyday..never tried this before..not to work...but for meet ups..for events..for gathering..for CCAs..for work..)

less of computer

more of self development books

less rude

more considerate

more hardworking

more tidy

more organised

more independent

more thinking


========chEckmAte========

thoughts

going to genting in 3 hours time (=

it's going to be a holiday with my auntie, uncle, ama, cousins..(=

just received a call from the telemarketing job..was a bit surprised actually..cos i had like tried to applied for that job during school term..then when thay called i nearly ask "can i know when i sent the job application?" lol...was simply recalling la~~haha..

told my cousin about it..and yet she say i couldn't do it..

somehow..on the surface..some things said doesn't seems to affect me..but it actually does..

had been thinking of what i actually want and is able to do in future..should i just say bye?

having low self esteem..low confidence level..

i'm not too sure either..

perhaps oonly my shadow knows myself best..

~mix feeling~

first emo post (=

black and white...yes...it's my life...

until now...for the whole half of december...actually i felt that it was fulfilling...seriously...i'm not doing something which is relating to studies...but rather...havong meet ups with friends whom i know from primary school to uni...yes...i'm happy...and really glad to be able to see them again...

black and white...it seems like for a moment...it appear to be colourful for this december..

i had been appearing to be cheerful...but deep inside...many feelings are hidden which i do not actually want to dig it up..

yes..i am who i am for all you know..

3 cheers for me (=